On 22 January 2008 i ask him for a moment of separate ways...1st time in 5 yrs...i can't bear with the relationships that is full of pretentious. we both know that theres something wrong with the relationship but we juz kept quiet n dun voice out. i'm sad, yes i knw that i can't pull thru without having u by my side. we both cried like hell on that day. looking at the tears that roll down your cheeck i felt numb...
Y is this happening to us, i tried my very best to save this relationship, as days goes by i'm getting weaker. i love u but its juz so hard for me. I tink i'm to blame for all this shit thats happening. like wat my mum always said i had a bad temper in which i always blast at you. n how i always gave u those hard times. n like u always said i'm always disrespect towards u.
Yups.....finally i have accept the fact that i'm 2 blame for all these...
i'm living in the world of shit with 2 sisters in the house hate me just pretending 2 be nice at times n be nasty all the time. i dun knw y the hell they hate and jealous bout me n i knw they dun love me they admit it in my face. living witha drunken,wife-beater,gambler dad for 19 yrs before it finally end. Mum gave me a hard life most of the times shes just good at blaming me thats the truth that no one knows. Blame me for this and that..every single ting she will blame me..she nvr blame any of my sis even if there r in the wrg. Y mum? well i love mum too much to blame her. so i just kept 2 myself..it hurt deeply.
sometimes i just feel like running...far,far away...away from all tis destruction. but i'm helpless..who can i blame? its all fated..i can't blame fate for all this..all i can blame is myself..all tis is y i shed a lot of weight,its 2 depressing n painful to bear with...i'm forsaken by my love ones in this world...
Dear god...pls....take my hand....lead me the way to heaven..
Lots of tears depregang..
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